An Expression

Of all expressions- smile, cry, laugh, sick etc, we know that exists in our whatsapp messenger, B chat and many other social media platforms, the latest expression to be accepted and added “!?” which usually meant that the person is confused about the conversation. The receiver of such expression doesn’t know if it meant doubt or a question or a vague or rhetorical statement. Over a period of time, detailed research was conducted by lexicographers on social media’s emojis and their usage in sentences. The researchers were convinced that this will be one of the new additions into messaging language.

According to me, in layman’s language it meant that it is an expression of “surprise / doubt” or a “rhetorical question with vague answers”, but certainly a statement. Hence most of my recent writings have an extensive usage of this expression, including the tagline of this book. This just gave me the freedom to talk, enquire and seek for more information regarding the subject I was already involved in. And everyone around me comfortably shared their knowledge.

When I first learnt about it, I started mulling over this expression for long and realized that most of us have been using it in our heads for ages, though it existed for many years and I understood it so late. My memory went back to days when I used to question my father on various topics as a little kid. The farthest I could go was when I asked him during our yearly prayers to dead souls. The situation is simple; most of us in India do follow this “Prayers to the dead soul’s day”. There is a day in everyone’s calendar at home, marked by family other than calendar holidays which was meant that, it is the day we are on special off from work to pray for the deal souls and seek their blessings. When it was my first experience, I could recall, I asked my father during the prayers, “if granny is dead how can she bless us and if she is already blessing how can she be dead?!”. My dad just said- some questions are answered by time, you will understand as you grow. Maybe even he wasn’t aware or maybe he never thought like I did, but he did have this “interrobanged” expression on his face.

There is this continuous thought that comes to me whenever I think of topics that are abstract in nature. The most fundamental being who is God? To the most fundamentally–complex in my head question- what was my previous birth? And then mid-life scenario type questions, -Is this Karma? Perplexed however, this subject continued to create curiosity but never died. I think life is as ‘simply complex’ in nature, as this "!?” a punctuation mark is. The most convincingly related quote to this fundamentally complex questioning, that I remember is- “Man is a complex being: he makes deserts bloom and lakes die” By- Gilbert Scott Heron- the author of famous novels- The Vulture & The Nigger Factory in the 70s’.

The first part- ‘Man is a complex being’ is more gripping to me, though the entire sentence when read carefully can also mean to expressed ‘how fast man is progressing in scientific innovation and technological advancements’. But, according to my understanding, this small statement elaborates the behavioral, emotional characteristic and other factors that are complex in human being. On contrary, the fact is human anatomy is simpler to understand. Maybe the reason is that we, the so called social animals- are exposed to a complex and rigid web of rituals, traditions, lifestyles, and other social norms consciously. We are loaded with complicated lifestyles and societal norms before we could understand the rules of the game called “Life”. Such dangerous (I mean it) exposure leaves us stranded in an “!?” situation.

So was I, just living such life caught in a web of “life on earth” for way too long, till I managed to gather courage to pronounce that ‘let my life chose its own way and by its own means’? Not that everyone was happy with it, but I had no right over others emotions or thoughts that can be controlled or tuned as per my wish. Isn’t it? By doing so I discovered one more thing, that my choice might have left a few of my friends with an interrobanged expression on their faces too.

That still doesn’t answer anyone, what do I do?

In search of answers to my fundamental question I have solo travelled a long way, meeting various people who have given me insight on Life in their perspective. So many souls who did not know who I was or what I was doing with them started taking to me letting their knowledge free flow for my better life. Today, I have started giving it back to many souls in my own way through “Soul Speaking”!?

The recent counter across the table was in Delhi, when I met Mrs. Seema Singal. People called her “God’s Angel”. It took me a while to understand the difference in me and her as angels. In my head, everyone was an angel whether it was god sent or manmade. In any case, we met and spoke for hours during our first 2 weeks and took me that long to understand the magic in her words and in her healing touch. Her favorite word all through was “Tattvam” as supposed to mine which was “Soul Speaking” not too far from what she understood of “Tattvam”. That’s when we came together to resolve many souls from conflicting thoughts and drive them towards “Living Soulful Life”. I would interact with everyone on matters as abstract as is the subject itself, and she would treat them holistically curing them from various issues. Our agenda then became let’s make believe everyone on their own power. Our energies together were working wonders day in and out, till we created this little manuscript under the name “Tattvam- Soul Speaking!?”

So, if you are sitting in your cozy corner at your home with this book reading it with “!?” in your head, then you are getting into the right zone. To question and to find answers out of curiosity has always been the first step of a good soul, people call it introspection but I say, it’s the key to open the door of knowledge and wisdom. This expression might be bothering but this is the one that connects you to me.

An Expression that never meant it’s ‘The End’.

Today- A Chaotic Life!